FOR many women, life without a partner can feel like an unrelenting struggle against loneliness. Anthea Turner knows this all too well.
The TV host — now engaged to businessman Mark Armstrong, her love of six years — has confessed single life is not for her and recalls a previous five-year stint alone as “really difficult”.
It was her first time not being in a relationship since age 14, and she said: “You try and make yourself feel better about it but there were times of absolute torture and loneliness.
“I do think I am pre-designed to be in a relationship.”
Studies show women are at greater risk of feeling lonely, while those who move from relationship to relationship — serial monogamists, like Anthea — often have stronger attachment needs than those who have spent time single.
The former Blue Peter host’s first taste of the single life came after her painful divorce from second husband Grant Bovey in 2015, after he cheated on her.
Although she dated sporadically after that, she didn’t find a meaningful connection until pal and ex-Wag Lizzie Cundy set her up with Mark, 59, in 2019.
Anthea, 64, said: “I had dated around and that was all very nice.
“But I never got the feeling it could go somewhere with someone.
“And for quite a while I was a scaredy cat — I was 53 and had never been on my own until that point.
“I had always had a boyfriend, since I was 14.
“And then, all of a sudden, I was on my own.”
It was pal and Sun columnist Jane Moore who gave Anthea a wake-up call when she was struggling to find her perfect match.
‘Felt very exposed’
Anthea recalled: “I said, nobody asks me out, and Jane said: ‘That’s because you’ve got, ‘F*** off!’ tattooed across your forehead’.
“So I had to think about that.
“Maybe I need to be just a bit more open.
“I’ve been well known since my mid-twenties, and over the years I’ve had ups and downs and felt very exposed.
“So there’s very few people I will let my guard down with, because it’s come back to haunt me on occasions.”
Finding herself single also affected her diet.
She said: “I lost weight because when you’re on your own you don’t eat properly.
“I’d have hummus, a rice cake, a glass of wine, chocolate.”
Indeed, a recent study found loneliness in single women is linked to a worse diet and craving bad foods.
If any further proof was needed, Anthea added: “When I met Mark I put weight on.”
But before finding him, Anthea had a checkered love life.
During the early Eighties she dated DJ Bruno Brookes, now 65, but accused him of domestic abuse, which he denied.
She then got with fellow broadcaster Peter Powell, now 73, and tied the knot in 1990 but their marriage ended after eight years.
She went on to marry businessman Grant in 2000, becoming stepmum to his daughters Lily, Amelia and Claudia from his previous marriage to Della Chapman.
But after a high-profile wedding that saw the couple controversially advertise Cadbury’s Snowflake chocolate bars, the marriage crumbled amid claims of infertility.
Anthea and Grant finally divorced after she discovered his year-long affair with socialite Zoe De Mallet Morgan.
Now, with the messy split behind them, Anthea finds it easier to be friends with Grant and remains close to his girls, despite the difficulties that initially came with the break-up of the family.
“I don’t really like falling out with people,” she told Siobhan Wykes and Tim Vincent, hosts of Best magazine’s Suddenly Single podcast.
“It’s just easier if you can get on.
“Pete [Powell], he had supper with us last night.
“And Grant, I do speak to quite regularly.
“When the girls were smaller, and we split up, and it was more raw, I wanted to make sure everything was as easy for them as possible.
“So when it came to birthdays, when it even came to Christmas, we would do things together.
“It just felt more comfortable.
“But it was difficult, absolutely.”
Thankfully, the trauma has not put Anthea off the idea of walking down the aisle again.
She said: “We had some great times.
“And after you’ve got over the pain and the hurt, then . . . somebody said to me, it’s a bit like childbirth — you forget and then have another one, and then maybe another one.
“I’m most definitely anaesthetised to the difficult things — I’ve forgotten them and moved on.
“My personality and my nature will always be to move on.
“I’m not the sort of person who spends a huge amount of time thumbing through the back pages of my life book.
“I tend to stay in the moment and look forward.”
One thing Anthea reflects on with humour is her decision to have a boob job in 2004, revealing that many people around her did not even notice she had gone under the knife.
She recalled: “I was in my forties and nobody called me out on it.
“Everybody just said, ‘Ooh, have you lost weight?’, as all of a sudden my bum looked smaller, thanks to the proportions of my body.”
Looking back, she’s happy she didn’t do anything too drastic to her face — but does admit indulging in Botox.
Anthea previously joked about how the procedure made it hard for people to read her face, saying: “I haven’t looked really angry since I was 40.
“And, my goodness me, you know I have been angry.”
But Anthea’s looks are something she is grateful for.
She said: “I am so glad now I had a fat face, having a jawline and pretty cheeks.
“We all look at ourselves, look at pictures going back, and you realise how naturally your face changes.”
While she reflects on ageing, though, she has been making headlines for other reasons.
Anthea has dismissed rumours that she and Mark have called off their wedding, despite reports to the contrary.
The former GMTV presenter insists the couple are “absolutely happy” and eagerly looking forward to their big day.
She said: “Mark and I got engaged, and then we were going to get married.
“And then, of course, it’s Covid, and my mum died.
“Sadly, his mum died too.
“Various things went on, and we’ve been together now for a good six years.
“We will get round to getting married, we will.
“We just need to do it.”
Meanwhile Anthea is also excited for the arrival of stepdaughter Claudia’s first child.
She said: “I’m going to be a granny.
“Claudia said: ‘Do you mind being called grandma?’
“And I said: ‘I missed out on being called mum. I’m not going to miss out on being called grandma.’
“So I’m very excited about that.”
In fact, Anthea credits Claudia with saving her during her single years — her stepdaughter insisted they live together after the divorce from Grant.
Anthea said: “I did have her with me and that made a difference.
“I was petrified I was going to lose the girls as well.
“Your head’s in a mess, and you’re thinking, I’m going to lose it all.
“And she was looking at me and she said: ‘So, where are we going to live?’
“I looked after her, but actually she probably doesn’t realise how much she looked after me, by just being there.”
Regardless of the sadness she felt at being on her own, before Mark came along, Anthea does believe it taught her some valuable life lessons.
She said: “I know now that was a great five years for me to grow and develop.
“It sounds really silly to say ‘I found myself’, I do know myself very well, but I had to.
“I hadn’t ever sorted a mortgage out by myself.
“I remember the shelf fell down, and what am I going to do?
“I bought a drill and did it myself.
“I’m so competent now, in many, many areas I never was before.
“And also I go to places on my own.
“Before, I’d always gone with somebody, or I’d go with my husband or my boyfriend, but now I am quite independent.”
Ultimately, though, Anthea believes life is for sharing.
She said: “It’s that emotional support and company.
“We’re not a rock, we’re not an island.
“I believe that humans are meant to be with other humans.”
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