There's one thing that all Brits have in common - moaning about the weather and wishing they were on holiday. So, in an attempt to relieve myself from the blues fiercely felt at the beginning of the year, I decided to break free from the bleakness of the UK for just a day.
But, ultimately, I ended up somewhere more depressing - and that's impressive to say the least. Where is that you ask? Brussels - the capital of Belgium and the de facto home of the European Union. It's a bit like going back to an ex so it should have been expected to have not gone well.
'Cheap and cheerful' was the mindset having snagged myself a £70 return ticket on the Eurostar from London St Pancras. Though, it was little of the latter with Brussels, the city that many consider to be the 'most hated' and 'most boring' city of Europe - and I see why.
Graffiti plastered walls and decrepit buildings lined the track as the train pulled into Brussels-Midi Station. A sense of foreshadowing of what is to come?
It didn't take long for me to realise why there are so many scathing TikTok and Reddit posts about Brussels. The smell of wee instantly slaps you on exiting the station.
There's lots of homeless gathering around too. But beggars belief, the unwelcoming puddles of urine leaking from the walls were not to be fully blamed on those loitering outside.
Commuting office workers are not exempt from a Brussels-Midi piddle, either. As I learnt myself when a bloke confidently stopped to unzip his suit trousers to christen the wall in front of me.
Can you blame him when it costs £1 to take a civilised splash inside? We'll come back to peeing in a bit - there's a lot of it in Brussels. But, it's only midday and I've only been here five minutes.
Just a 20-minute walk into the city centre where all the touristy things are. Though, just seconds after my pilgrimage I'm met with paramedics readying a trolley into the station.
There's a looming ominous feeling on what seemed like a simplistic straight line mapped by my phone. Everything just seemed so soulless, even the usually determined pigeon didn't have much get up and go about them.
It lacked vibrancy which, yes, wasn't helped by the grey skies nor the sprawl of construction zones dotted around the city. You'd be easily mistaken that the rows of cranes that made for the Brussels skyline belonged to an industrial area, but building sites seemed to be part and parcel of the city.
While knowing that Brussels' bleakness was in the process of being mass improved, it's still devoid of personality. Usually cities have a saving grace, but not here - unless you're an avid crane fan.
But as a wise Englishman once said: "Let's have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over." And, that I did. The Belgians are known for their beer (and now construction sites apparently) so what better way to attempt to inject some joy into my day trip with a solo booze tasting session.
Just €10 (£8.34) later and I've got four beers sitting in front of me for company and wonder, 'do I look cultured or like an alcoholic?'
The menu told me that I could choose four beers of my choice, but the waitress informed me that they just bring out a random selection of cherry flavoured lambic beer, blonde ale, pilsner and a brown ale.
To add an extra layer to the fun, the waitress hurried away before explaining what beers had been chosen for me. The now blind beer tasting kicked off with a side of cheese croquettes to act as a palette cleanser and another endeavour for my cultural Belgium pursuit.
Brussels might not know how to do 'capital city' but they sure know how to do deep fried bar food and beer – even though I don't know what I sipped on.
Geared up on some Belgian courage it was time to venture away from the comfort of booze and little cheese balls to explore more of the city. I quickly realised that I should have got another round in.
Saying that, the Royal Gallery of Saint Hubert was quite fancy as shopping centres go. Designer shops, art exhibitions and Belgian chocolate lived within, which coming from the UK, it's nice to see a row of high street shops not boarded up.
Another shopping centre 'Passage Du Nord' billed as a 'must see' is most definitely deceiving. Look up and you'll be dazzled by 17th century-style architecture, look down and it will be ruined by the harsh glow of green pharmacy sign, 'To Let' signs and 'Pasta Hal' - presumably a halal knock off of Pizza Hut.
Momentary bliss over as it's out of the shopping centre to turn the corner where I see, you guessed it, another zone under construction.
Even the start of busy shopping street Rue Neuve had builders drilling on it. Listening to the irritating clang of construction along with the sounds of street scammers attempting to flog goods to unbeknownst tourists is not the soundtrack I wanted for my idyllic city getaway.
Did I mention Brussels had little personality? I quickly moved out of the area before it could have negatively shaped mine. After my way out of construction central, I ventured to the Grand Place - the plaza that proved to be the only plateable square in Brussels.
Hard work done and I've earnt myself an espresso. Sitting out in the square to look at the opulent architecture, decorated with golden edging, it seemed quite nice in this little bubble.
Watching the world go by, and by that I mean tourists struggling with selfie sticks while pick pockets eye up their jackets, Brussels didn't seem to bad without a crane or pee puddle in sight.
Even the barman charged my phone that had been sucked dry after all my incriminating Brussels-bashing evidence now stored in it.
Though, even a friendly face couldn't redeem the city for me. Before making my way back to Brussels-Midi, it was time to head into one of the souvenir shops to get a memoir of my trip even though I wasn't so sure that I even wanted to remember it at all.
Fridge magnet secured but I'm taken a back by the rows of souvenirs depicting what looks like a little boy urinating, with his wee replaced by a corkscrew.
Of course, Brussels most well known statue 'Manneken Pis'. Perhaps the penchant to pee is a nod to the city's favourite effigy? Either way, this capital city always leads back to weeing.
And after a 20 minute walk through what should be renamed 'Europe's biggest construction site', I'm greeted by the smell of wee and security following homeless people in the Brussels-Midi Station.
It's almost comforting knowing what to expect and what is expected is my train back home. Six hours later and I relish knowing that my ordeal will end soon.
So, will I go back to Brussels anytime soon? Short answer is no. The Brussels-bashing has to stop somewhere so I'll give you this. What Brussels did was give me a fairly cheap day out, another magnet to stick on my fridge and a newfound sense of appreciation of the UK.
Not because our nation is so great, but it's quite simply less terrible than Brussels.
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